Monday, July 18, 2011

Dear you, Sincerely, me

Sometimes we just need a little giggle,  these came to me today:
Dear Noah, 
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. 
Sincerely, 
Unicorns 
Dear Twilight fans, 
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that. 
Sincerely, 
Logic 
Dear Icebergs, 
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch. 
Sincerely, 
The Titanic 
Dear America , 
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. 
Sincerely, 
Canada
Dear Yahoo, 
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying... 
Sincerely, 
Google
Dear 2010, 
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?! 
Sincerely, 
1985
Dear girls who have been dumped, 
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead. 
Sincerely, 
BP
Dear Saturn, 
I liked it, so I put a ring on it. 
Sincerely, 
God
Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn, 
Please lknvfdmv.xvn. 
Sincerely, 
Stevie Wonder
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids, 
Please make one for every skin color. 
Sincerely, 
Black people 

Dear Scissors, 
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either. 
Sincerely, 
Sarah Palin
Dear Osama Bin Laden, 
Marco.... 
Sincerely, 
United States 
Dear World of Warcraft, 
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity. 
Sincerely, 
Parents Everywhere
Dear Batman, 
What was your power again? 
Sincerely, 
Superman 
Dear Customers, 
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese. 
Sincerely, 
Nail Salon Ladies 
Dear Ugly People, 
You're welcome. 
Sincerely, 
Alcohol 
Dear World, 
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok? 
Sincerely, 
The Mayans 
Dear White People, 
Don't you just hate immigrants? 
Sincerely, 
Native Americans 

Dear iPhone, 
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut. Sincerely, 
Every iPhone User
Dear Trash, 
At least you get picked up... 
Sincerely, 
The Girls of Jersey Shore
Dear Man, 
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it? 
Sincerely, 
Elephant

No comments:

Post a Comment